Make This - Now.

Have you ever tasted something that was so phenomenally good and yet so simple that your mind was boggled by the fact that it had taken 44 years to think of it?!  And that you'd lived those 44 years without it?! That happened to me two nights ago.  I'd been thinking about an appropriate side dish for a beer marinated flank steak recipe that I wanted to try when slowly the pieces started falling into place...

Potatoes, naturally.  Mashed, preferably.  And what about some... pepper bacon?  Definitely.  Add a little butter, a little heavy cream and, why not we've come this far, sour cream.  Finish with a splash of chives.  Oh. My. God.

I mean it.  Make this now.  Sure, it may shave a few days off the end of your life, but let's face it: When you're 87 what's a couple of days going to matter? What, you'll miss that rerun of Southpark that you've already seen 3 times and don't remember?  You'll miss your favorite American Idol getting bounced as a result of stupid Vote For The Worst idiots?  It'll be worth it.  I promise.

Serves Two (unless you don't feel like sharing)

3 medium russet potatoes, peeled and sliced in half (you'll want to do that to speed the goodness to your mouth)
1 cup chopped, cooked pepper bacon (I used Niman Ranch)
1 cup gently warmed heavy whipping cream
5 Tablespoons melted unsalted butter (because you're avoiding high sodium diets these days)
2 Tablespoons finely chopped chives
1.5 Tablespoons sour cream
Salt and Pepper to taste

Remove the potatoes from their jackets, slice in half and place in a pot of salted (or not) water.  Bring to a boil and simmer gently for about 10-15 minutes until they are easily pierced with a fork, but not falling apart. Drain potatoes for 5 minutes to allow excess water to evaporate.  Place potatoes in a ricer if you have one (ingenious invention) and press into a medium size bowl; if you don't have a ricer, put them in a bowl and get out your Grandmother's potato masher.  Get back to me in 25 minutes when you've gotten rid of almost all the lumps and your arm has fallen off.  Add the butter and mix.  Gradually add 3/4 of the cream and stir.  Add the sour cream and stir some more.  Add the heavenly bacon and chives and stir yet again.  Taste for seasoning and add salt and pepper as desired (I said TASTE, not DEVOUR THE ENTIRE BOWL).  Finish by slowly adding the last of the whipping cream and stirring.

Lest you be so crazed by the desire to have this in your mouth that you want to dump everything in all at once, give a quick drive-by with the spoon and eat it the entire bowl whilst standing there, please note: There is a method to the madness of gradually adding all of those liquids.  Over time the potatoes continue to absorb the liquids so by adding them gradually you can assess the consistency at stages and identify when they have reached velvety perfection: smooth, with an almost pureed and glossy visage.

Pause.  Sit down.  Taste.  And if you really like living on the edge, do this:

You'll thank me later.